Adventurific

Safety is probably the MOST important thing we try to teach here at Adventurific. I’m not kidding! We honestly try our best every week to show you what happens when caution is thrown to the wind and all hell has sufficiently broken loose. We do that because we care. On this week’s skull smashing new episode of Adventurific, follow along as the Company wastes too much time being something they are not, Skip tries WAY TOO hard at something he is no good at, and we all learn a valuable lesson that we will probably forget just as soon as the episode ends… sorry Nick. So grab your helmet and don’t forget to wax the stairs because when this week’s brand new episode of Adventurific is over, it’ll be really important you don’t fall asleep!

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Deep within the bowels of the Earth there are miles and miles of untapped resources just waiting for a team of hard working citizens to salvage from the depths and supply the rest of us with wealth and valuables beyond our wildest dreams. However, if those hard working citizens start mysteriously disappearing, it starts affecting the bottom line, and in a world of profit and numbers, that ain’t good. So you call in the best team you can find, and…you can probably see where I am going with all this… Join us this week on Adventurific as we trudge our asses all the way up into the hills to figure out why a bunch of 9-to-5ers have decided to go against company policy and end up missing. Knowing our luck, it’ll probably be because some spooky ass curse or some conspiracy. Either way, we will definitely be in way over our heads. So grab your hardhat and don’t let OSHA know we aren’t fully licensed, because this week on Adventurific, you either run or watch your ass get run over.

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Sorry, I don’t really have much of a joke intro here, but I’m under the clock… hey that’ll do! Join us this week on Adventurific as the gang hits the town to get another quest, Skip attends a VERY IMPORTANT meeting, and the Company has a brief discussion on the upcoming litigation their unnecessary shenanigans have brought upon them. There’s an old saying about reaping what you sow, but it was probably said by some asshole who DIDN’T nearly have his soul sucked out of eye sockets. So take a knee, grab some nuts, and run out the clock, because on this week’s episode of Adventurific, we have no plans on backing down, especially when we are obviously wrong!

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There’s a buzz in the air. Can you feel it? It’s electricity that one cannot properly describe, but it comes from that excitement of new beginnings and hard work finally paying off. It’s the result of all the blood, sweat, and tears shed over the realization of one singular dream… The Coal Chute is open for business! Yes, that’s right! On this week’s episode of Adventurific, the Company buckles down, cleans up, and finally opens the doors of Fireshear’s hottest new bar! There’s so much at stake! You just know that everyone is going to be at their best if we are going to make this opening night a success, but of course, it wouldn’t be us if there wasn’t a little nudity, a mild amount of drug dealing, and a whole heck of a lot of blood spilled. Hell, if we pull this off, we might finally rise up the social ranks a littl, instead of just being those losers at the edge of town who own that place where all those people died. So loosen up those wallets and remember to double check your wardrobe because on this episode of Adventurific, we are FINALLY open for business!

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Listen, we all make mistakes, it’s part of being human. Sometimes it’s as simple as forgetting to do something that you were asked to do. Other times, you make a mistake so serious that it requires a jar that you have to put money in if you accidentally mention it. On this week’s episode of Adventurific, one of our intrepid heroes makes one of those serious mistakes and it sets us all down a course that no matter how much we lie or try to ignore, there is no turning back. Try to play at home to guess who REALLY shits the bed, I bet you won’t be able to figure it out! So grab from the bottom and lift with your legs, on this week’s episode of Adventurific, it’s time to start living with that plausible deniability!

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I want to be PERFECTLY clear about something: We here at Adventurific DO NOT condone the use of drugs or drug-like substances and if you know of people who do, you should report them immediately….

Are the cops gone? Good.

On this week’s intoxicating episode of Adventurific, the Company looks a little deeper into the ill-gotten gains of last week’s pseudo heist, become a little bit stronger using the power of commerce, and once they reach the next level of critical thinking; they are able to bring one of the greatest inventions ever known to man into the fantasy realm of D&D. Will it make sense canonically? Probably not, but that has never stopped us before. So grab that weird looking vase, and only take half of it at first because on this week’s Adventurific, it’s probably best to do that outside. I don’t want that smell in the house.

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What would you do if, after discovering a citywide conspiracy, you saw a dead man stapled to a sign…and a Halfling’s dick for the first time? Would that be, like, MIND SHATTERINGLY weird? Great, because on this week’s episode of Adventurific, the Company pulls back from the abyss for a brief second to plot out the proper course of action after last week’s surprises! I’m sure with a concussed Changling, a grumpy old sea captain, a slightly naïve farm girl and a not-drunk-buzzed Dragonborn, we will totally figure all this nonsense out. So grab your TI-83 and put on a pot of Goodberry Tea, because on this episode of Adventurific, we are diving into the books and putting a value on all our assets! It’s shockingly low!

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Josh is still in a tryptophan coma, so that means the description is up to me! This week’s episode is a slow, boring affair where absolutely nothing from the previous day comes back to bite our crew in the ass. Nothing. So wipe the gravy off your face, unbutton your pants, and kick back in the recliner because this week, Adventurific takes it easy.

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Okay, we NOW know that we can run a successful bar without too much trouble and only one of us ended up with a concussion! That’s good to know! However, on this week’s episode of Adventurific, we move past the bottle episodes of previous, get the low down on some questing that needs doing, and go deep undercover to get that sweet corporate dirt! Don’t worry, I’m sure that NOTHING we do while in disguise will EVER effect us or anyone EVER AGAIN, so we are free to do whatever it takes to get the information we need! I promise. Now grab that broom and start sweeping because on this week’s Adventurific, we’re from the North and I’ve got some boys that need the work!

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Now, I know what you are thinking. “This season doesn’t really have the action and violence of past Adventurific adventures!” Well, dear listener, may I present you with this week’s episode of Adventurific! One so violent, so extreme, and so disgusting bloody that Nick has spent weeks in the editing bay trying to transform this “Adults Only” romp to a more much digestible “Rated M for Mature”! It so intense that our very own Erik asked to dial back the mayhem a wopping 381% or he would notify the police himself! Still interested? Well good because our lawyers say we are only legally allowed to release this type of chaos only ONCE! So close the blinds, take the phone off the hook, and use a VPN to hide your I.P. address because on this week’s episode, we discuss the entrée and have a soft open of the bar…I MEAN DEATH! LOTS OF DEATH!

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Let me drop a little piece of information on you; killing a ghost is actually super easy. Where the challenge comes in is convincing management that stealing a bunch of priceless artifacts from an elderly shopkeeper won’t harm public perception of the parent company. That’s the tricky part, and on this week’s episode of Adventurific, the Company is going to do their damnedest to come up with a plan that will not only satisfy HR and Public Relations, but also get them a truck load of awesome weapons and armor! Not only that, but the tale of their misdealing may have traveled up the corporate ladder, which surely won’t lead to any impromptu meetings with the heads of the company! Yes! Those guys! Better put on your best tie and keep your eyes on the middle of the forehead because this week’s episode of Adventurific has some wheeling, some dealing, and some low key stealing!

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The Season of Frights might be over, but the ghouls and ghosts are still up for a scare or two on this week’s episode of Adventurific! Join us as the Company learns of a local business that is under the control of a mysterious force that lives in the basement, we put on our meanest faces to deal with the demons in our own cellar, and go toe to toe with something that may be totally not of this dimension! Are we ready to deal with a threat of this extreme paranormal level, or will our inexperience in the field of…succeeding lead to our own deadly demise? You’ll just have to turn out the lights and ignore the noises coming from the beneath the floorboards as we prepare for one last apparitional terror on this week’s episode of Adventurific!

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With every successful business there’s bound to be some up and downs with the initial setup process, but with this particular group of heroes it seems like its nothing but downs! Follow along this week as the Company continues to set up the bar, meets with the 5-0, Skip gets A LITTLE too chatty, and they get an offer that’s way too spooky to refuse! We can promise you that it’s so haunting that it’ll take TWO episodes to uncover its secrets! So, remember to return your cart on time and makes sure you tell the truth because on this week’s Adventurific, WE GOT ONE!

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Once again, Josh has failed to fulfill his contractual duty and provide me with a description. I guess it’s up to me. Uh, join us this week as the Company licks their wounds, talks about their future, and looks for the best deals in town! Will anything be accomplished? Probably not, but join us anyway for this nail biting episode of Adventurific!

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What happens when Josh takes a last minute trip to NYCC? Nick has to write the description! Join us this week as the Company rolls initiative, an impromptu rave breaks out, and absolutely nothing goes wrong! Will our heroes get what they came for, or will they get what they deserve? Take a seat and get comfortable because this week, Adventurific answers your call in the order it was received!

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Ever been at work and you over hear your boss getting chewed out on the phone, and then they proceeds to hoist all that heat on you, so you gotta pick up all the pieces? Great, because on this week’s episode of Adventurific, the newly kitted out Company must brave the wilderness and each other to literally and figuratively put out all the fires upper management is too scared to touch and solve the mystery of the THE FLAMING CART AT THE EDGE OF TOWN, which really isn’t that much of a mystery when you think about it. Follow along as everyone gets to learn more about their fellow employees, try out some of their yet untested skills, and actually do some real critical thinking that actually gets results! So, stay low and go slow because on this episode of Adventurific, the greatest high in the world is the one you get from mysterious strangers in the woods!

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When Papa so kindly gives us a shiny gold piece, its best to spend it quickly, because he probably has some dastardly scheme planned that’s going to end up costing us way more! This week, the Company takes to the streets to gear up for the upcoming quests, jobs, and adventures! Tune in to hear a little info gathering with the locals, an embarrassing interaction with a high end weapons shop keep, and some real boss level haggling with a store clerk so weird he makes Erik look sane! Not too sane though, he’s still our Erik. So, get out your rewards card and enter your email to get exclusive offer right on your phone because on this week’s Adventurific, we ain’t paying full price!

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Grab your squid hat and crack open a fresh health potion because Adventurific returns with a fresh coat of paint, some pristine new characters, a baby-faced DM, and an ALL NEW setting as we leave the emptiness of space behind for the vast and fertile landscape of Dungeon & Dragons! Yes, we have returned to the motherland! Tune in this week as our characters do the obligatory “stand up and say something about yourself” routine, we learn how annoying it is to start your own business, and hit the streets to mess with the faceless NPC’s that populate this frozen town, and I know what you are thinking, “Are they already goofing off? Why can’t they take anything seriously?” One, yes and two, we are Adventurific. We cannot. So put on your best tie and remember to fill out all the necessary forms, because this week Adventurific is back and we are totally prepared to ACTUALLY follow the rules this time!

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Almost two years ago, an unlikely group of assholes came together to find a broken ship and hopefully make a quick buck, but after all the insults, the backstabbing, the petty squabbling, the casual relations, the blood, the guts, the bullets and the corpses, this group of assholes is the only thing left standing between everything and oblivion! Please join us on the Starfinder finale of the Adventurific Radio Hour as the Squad push back one last time with everything they got in attempt to stop the purest incarnation of evil from devouring everything in the galaxy! Their bodies are broken, and their minds are just as fragile, but can they hold themselves together long enough to finally put an end to Red Guy’s terror, or is all life in the universe just as dead as they are? So, strap in one last time and prepare for take-off as we set sail to the action packed finale in Season One of Starfinder; only on Adventurific!

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We are getting so close…our heroes are hurt, their defenses are failing, and the forces of evil don’t seem to be slowing anytime soon, it’s a good thing that the DM can’t roll! Tune into this week’s Adventurific Radio Hour as the biggest battle of our careers rages on, the bodies continue to rain from the sky, Kenntucky attempts to teach Duke more about himself, and as the Dealer struggles to keep warm…maybe we should have thought that one out a little more. Oh well, he was a jerk. Anyway, can the weakening forces of good stop the continuing onslaught of evil or is the end coming sooner than we expected? It’s going to be a mind bending good time either way so dig in, reload your guns, and prepare for death because we are finally at the penultimate episode of the Adventurific Radio Hour!

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We’ve all seen the movies; Braveheart’s rallying the troops, soldiers storming the beach at Normandy, the Avengers finally assembling against Thanos, all amazing moments where the forces of good gather their strength to make a final stand against the forces of evil! Unfortunately for you, we all hate each other so OUR moment is going to be A LOT more disappointing, but hey, that’s the Adventurific Radio Hour! Tune in this week as the Squad quickly cobbles together a plan to hold back the zombified army of the Red Guy, and as things go from bad to disastrous, listen as one of the team goes full Vietnam! It’s not because of all that “horrors of war” garbage, but more likely because too much liquor and not enough water was involved. We are getting close to the end, so round up the cannon fodder…er… TROOPS and start writing the letters to their families, because this week on Adventurific, they may take our lives, but they’ll never take our unwarranted feeling of self-entitlement!

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All of the winding roads lead back here, to the place where they cut their teeth, fighting together for the first time, where the spark of a monarchy both began and crumbled, where true evil first came to greet them and showed them how powerful it could be, and if the Squad isn’t careful, this planet will be the last place they ever visit! Join us this week on the Adventurific Radio Hour as the space whale crashes back to the first planet we ever visited, and listen close as we very quickly bring destruction and death to the doorstep of the unlucky inhabitants of this once quiet world! And when the horns of war begin to sound, some friends from the past will be there to offer…something. The entrance is cataclysmic, but the nostalgia is still just as sweet, so grab your life jacket and head for high ground, this week on Adventurific!

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So I’m going to be straight with you. We here on Adventurific have a bad habit of adding strange and sometimes unnecessary details into the world around us, like the way NPCs react to something our characters may say, how we interpret our DM’s story, or in the most common example, the completely baffling modifications to Nostrovia. On today’s episode that might come back to bite us…and while dealing with the fallout, we head back into a dark and damp place to go toe to toe with an all too familiar foe! Let’s hope the Squad can come up with a plan quick because things are seriously getting heavy! So, listen close and pay attention to all the references because on this week’s Adventurific, its complete chaos in front of and behind the mics!

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Azden Drixt was born on 54.08-12215 on the once considered planet of Viox-16. He was raised at an early age to be a soldier, a great mind in the ways of science and technology and a natural born leader to the Followers of Her Gilded Light, and Her millions of followers out in the stars! His parents Geo and Annop Drixt will always remember their son the way he would have wanted, not as the traitor on the Earth Day Seven Wars, nor as an accomplice in the Helios-V crime sprees or even as the President of the NBC, but as a man who held great power within his soul, and used it to better all of those he met. His name will be remembered for eternity, but not the one given to him; the one they will always know him as… Goodbye Kenn….wait.

What do you mean he’s not dead yet? Goddammit Tucky.

Join us this week on the Adventurific Radio Hour as Kenntucky attempts to join us back in the land of the living, and the rest of the Squad makes a plan to save the Space Whale from whatever the Red Guy has planned, but they’ll need to move fast because the darkest evil in all the galaxy is knocking on their door right now and he’s not much for waiting! Grab the chain and pour out some Tang, because this week on Adventurific, you’re going to be THE LAST LINE!

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Fire rains from the sky, blood flows through the streets like an amber rain, the skeletal remains of their homes and businesses crumble around them, and every Absolom Station citizen still alive must be second-guessing their decision to allow a bunch of reality TV stars to take over the largest company on the station and figuratively and literally run it into the ground! Join us this week on the newest episode of the Adventurific Radio Hour as the fight over Absolom continues, with Muck fully in tune with his creation, Duke finding the pocket, and the rest of the squad becoming more efficient with their respective weapons! The tables start turning when the Red Guy ups his game and starts playing some seriously dirty mind games on our hapless anti-heroes, and these tricks are so fiendishly clever, so diabolically devious, that even the strongest of wills can’t help but fall for them… some harder than others! So settle into your cockpit and remember to keep your hands and feet in the car at all times because this week on Adventurific, lemme just whisper in your ear real quick…

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The once calm streets fill with the hungry un-dead, the air is thick with the smell of destruction, and the ONLY thing standing between the complete consumption of every living thing in the galaxy is an unlikely squad of morons and the giant mech they barely know how to pilot! Join us this week as the battle of Absolom Station continues, with Muck still deciphering the mysteries of the doctor’s Giant Robot, and everyone else doing their best to take down the unholy corpse of the building they once called home! Can the squad become one fully functioning unit and stop the Red Guy from decimating the entire populous, or are they already on a one way street to the grave?! It’s going to be a thrilling episode, so grab a good friend and may Ibra guide you, because this week on Adventurific, synchronization is go!

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The saying, “teamwork makes the dream work” is usually spoken in more productive environments, one where the concept of working in unison with a teammate towards a common goal is deemed fairly important, it’s rarely considered a life or death situation, but on this week’s Adventurific Radio Hour, we are taking that saying and cranking the stakes all the way up to ELEVEN! Join us this week as the Squad attempt to complete Muck’s and Dr. Achtung’s secret ultimate weapon to defeat the Red Guy, and to do that, they’re going to have to combine all their unique skills and abilities to become the only hope Absolom Station has left! It may sound a bit dramatic, but when you see what the Squad is actually up against, you’ll understand! So, strap into your Pilot’s Chair and ask for personalized A.I. for assistance, because this week on Adventurific, we’re in the Endgame now!

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It’s simple. First, you call in every favor you have. Next, you get the biggest guns you can. Then, you swallow that crippling fear that’s growing in your gut. Finally, you put everything you got on the mangled pieces that is your second best engineer. He’s got a giant robot mech after all. Come along this week as the Squad put their insane plan into action and attempt to take back their once great station! Will they survive the armies of the undead waiting for them on the streets and reach Mucktup’s Secret Weapon, or is this the official finale to all things Nostrovia? Put on those seatbelts and ignore all the gore, because this week, Adventurific is literally armed to the teeth!

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Here’s a fun riddle, what happens when the greatest threat to the galaxy breaks into your home, kills everyone that you care about, and takes everything you built and reduces it to a bloody pulp? Trick Question! If you are the Adventurific Radio Hour, then the only correct answer is to obviously get Kenntucky’s childhood hero to a rinky dink space diner and find a way to mend some fences with his sworn nemesis, then find a way to undo all the damage they’ve caused to the once peaceful Absolom Station; It’s pretty simple when you really think about it! So grab that strange puck in the urinal and order a side of fries, because this week on Adventurific, we are not going to yell, just use the “I feel” statements!

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They say that all of the choices we make lead to consequences. Big or small, everything we do creates a ripple effect that can either bring great fortune or destroy everything you’ve built and kill all of those closest to you. So, good news for the Adventurific Radio Hour, because we have a terrified Mucktup and a live flamethrower ready to push that metaphysical domino and deal with whatever chaos it will surely cause! Can Muck keep the NBC together despite it LITERALLY becoming an undead bloodbath or will he FIGURATIVLY lose his mind and bring Slasher and the whole station down with him? It’s safe to say that things may have finally gotten too out of control, even for our intrepid “heroes”! So, strap on your brain buckets and crawl into your favorite vent, because this week on Adventurific, everything is going to hell in a hand basket!

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It takes a lot in order to be a good leader. It takes guts, brains and most of all; heart. Miles and miles of heart. Luckily for the Adventurific Radio Hour, Muck and Slasher have boxes and boxes of hearts and brains and three standing freezers full of various critter guts! Join us this week as the most visceral members of the NBC group look into Mucktup’s mysterious experiments, what’s possible when given the power of creation, but still want a chill place to grab a cuppa, and how the newest members of The Guardians are holding up against the most intense training course ever devised! So brew a fresh pot and bring the good mop because this week on Adventurific, it sure to be the most body-horrific episode yet!

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Have you ever been driving home and you REALLY have to go to the bathroom, but there’s traffic and it’s SUPER slow? Then, there’s construction in your neighborhood and you have to take the long way around, and when you finally get home, you realize you forgot your house keys at work? Well, today’s episode of Adventurific is a lot like that! Just as the intrepid crew of Nostrovia arrives back to Absolom Station, they find an angry mob waiting for them! It appears that in their absence, another mysterious cult has appeared from the dark corners of the station and began slaughtering helpless citizens! Now, it’s up to the Squad to restore order the streets, rally the downtrodden masses and hopefully, bring peace back to the once “quiet” station! So grab your badge, and put on some “Spommando”, because this week, it’s all about martial law on Adventurific!

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Okay, here’s the deal; The Squad has survived a giant lake leech, an entire dinner party’s worth of zombies and intense questioning from one of the deadliest armed forces in the galaxy! The hard part is over! So now it’s just a simple two day trip back to Absolom Station…with each other…and they are almost out of booze… Ibra help us. Follow along this week as the valiant crew of the Nostrovia is forced to spend 48 grueling hours together as they make their way back home! No monsters, no intergalactic threats, just a few “friends” killing time with fun time-killing activities like a lesson in Kenntucky’s Old Fashioned Bait n’ Switch, making toilet gin, and finding out what CLANK is hiding in her boots! Plus a secret is revealed about Duke that is so intense, it’ll shake this group to its core, and no one will be the same after! So grab your painkillers and make sure that they are all still in there, because this week, Adventurific is totally not a pyramid scheme!

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To Baby Clara,

These are words from the past, but they may help you in the future, especially as you grow stronger and wiser. They are words from your family, your REAL family, and while they may not seem like much at first they were and, always will be, there for you… Except Mucktup…on account of the pretzel thing.

Please never forget us.

Nostrovia

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While most of us usually spend our free time relaxing on foreign beaches, starting a family, or rubbing shoulders with Hollywood elites, the brave crew of the Nostrovia has been preparing for the greatest mystery of all…SCIENCE! Join us this week as the mysterious Jumpers attempt to unravel the exceedingly complex life of the sweet baby Clara by tossing the laws of nature and due diligent aside and making Duke the unwilling participant in some mind bending experiments and what they might soon discover about Clara’s lineage may send shock waves throughout the galaxy and set the stage for an adventure no one will soon forget. Also, CLANK, Muck, Slasher and Kenntucky learn a lesson on why not to drink Jim Bean mixed with Dish Soap… didn’t think it really needed to be said but here we are. So, warm up those stethoscopes and don’t stop taking notes because this week, Aventurific is back from Spring Break and we love SCIENCE!

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It’s time once again (?) for the continuing adventures of Captain Spaceship! Put on your Jumper jumpers, don your officially licensed “Alliance of Sentient Space Exploring Scientists” safety goggles, and ready your “Shooting Star” decoder pin as we blast off to adventure! We find our hero hurtling off into the great unknown recesses of the Garter Belt. Having been ambushed shortly after completing his mission to unstick the planet of Trafalmadore from it’s famously adhesive timelines. Now, the Galaxy’s Greatest Guardian finds himself alone and in an unprecedented pickle- How will he fix his beloved Shooting Star? Don’t touch that radio dial Adventurnauts!

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No matter how long you’ve known someone, travelled light years across the stars with them, been through hell and back with them by your side, even your closest friends and family may have some skeletons hidden deep within in their closets, and we here at the Adventurific Radio Hour totally f@#%ing love secret skellingtons! After completely obliterating a mansion full of stuck up assholes, the mansion itself and a guy who had the hots for our Science Officer/CFO, it’s time for Crew of the Nostrovia to chill out, sober up, and enjoy the sweet fruits of their labor! However, when a covert Space Militia knocks on Nos’s back door and reveals that one of his passengers hasn’t been entirely truthful about their motivations, the unsettling news threatens to dismantle the fragile hierarchy the Crew have built for themselves and send the ship into sheer chaos! All that and an important meet and greet with Mucktup’s new friends, which certainly isn’t going to be any sorts of awkward! So splash some cold water on your face and wipe the dried blood from your nose, because this week on Adventurific, you’ve got some new neighbors to impress!

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We’ve had a lot of fun last week experimenting with the vast rainbow of space cocaine, but like most out of control yayo fiestas, it’s time for the spickens to come home to roost, or in our case, an outrageous matter-bending space ostrich coming home to bring a vengeful ex-conspirator back for some well deserved retribution! We are in the deep red this week on the Adventurific Radio Hour as C.L.A.N.K. struggles to keep all of Duke’s blood in the inside of Duke and fight off the advances of an old flame, Muck struggles to keep Nostrovia in the air and keep heat on the ground, Kenntucky struggles to break free of the shackles that are currently keeping him safe in the MedBay, and Slasher struggles to keep her streak of suspicious silence going! I don’t want to ruin any of the suspense but I should warn you, by the end of this episode, an employee of the NBC will not be making it back! So, grab your favorite nondescript vile of stimulants, and inject that silly bastard between your toes, because we are all hands on deck, this week on Adventurific!

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I want to be serious for a moment. We joke around a lot, but in this episode of the Adventurific Radio Hour we tackle a very serious problem that some may find disturbing or unpleasant; the fact that Mucktup may actually be the most qualified person to captain the good ship Nostrovia! I know it sounds insane, but with C.L.A.N.K., Duke, and the rebellious staff of the Cardigan Club fighting off wave after wave of the undead, Slasher continuing her vow of silence, and Kenntucky failing to resist the urge to fall back into the arms of sweet lady Space Cocaine, it’ll be up to everyone’s favorite franken-rodent to stop the onslaught of tentacle controlled freaks and get everyone off the planet alive and as hard as Muck may try, saving everyone may not be as easy as Captain Spaceship made it out to be! So, set out some premium cat food and aim for the head, because this week on Adventurific, we break rule number one and get high off our own supply!

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What you are about to listen to is real. The unwilling participants are not actors. They are the actual martyrs who have already either been wrapped up in some ridiculous assassination attempt or been forced to appear in a Kangaroo Kourt with two very biased sides. Both parties in the suit have “agreed” to appear before our fair but completely unqualified judge and have their beefs settled here, in our forum: The Adventurific Radio Hour… Court. Come along this week as Duke and CLANK make a mockery of the justice system, Muck goes to his safe place, and Kenntucky takes a stab at firing a bigger gun than he’s use to, and Slasher is suspiciously quiet…wonder what she’s up to? So grab yourself a big tall glass of Premium Catfood and lower the BAR considerably because this week on Adventurific, we are taking the phrase “Contempt of Court” to a whole new level!

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It’s never a good sign when your ex-mating partner vomits up 31,883 incubated eggs onto your ArboCo Double Sided Glorbing Pad and half of them are missing your visually distinctive skull horn, but totally have your best friend Gintax’s lower thorax breathing maw, and it gets even more embarrassing when you are required to re-breed them with no say from the ArboCo Population and Fecundity Control Module! Anywho, forget all those obvious signs of your infertility, because it’s time again for another thrilling episode of the Adventurific Radio Hour! This week, per usual, things take a turbulent turn when Duke and CLANK find themselves on the opposite side of the judiciary bench, Slasher does a great job, but gets way too cocky, Mucktup discovers what lies beneath the depths of the lake, and Kenntucky ignores all semblance of common sense and explores the mysterious hatch all by his lonesome! What will become of our “heroes” now that we have almost completely separated the entire party, and most importantly, who will come out on top of the murder leaderboard?! You best finish your prayers and call your lawyer because things are only getting more outrageous from here, this week on Adventurific!

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Now that all that holiday nonsense has been wrapped up, its now time to head back into the cosmos and catch up with the intrepid morons of the great ship Nostrovia! After narrowly surviving a brutal interrogation with Herringbone, Duke and CLANK proceed in the next step to eliminate the rest of the Silver Spooners, who by the way, are all conveniently tied up in the basement! And on the other side of the map, Slasher, Muck and Kenntucky continue their own brand of bloodshed in the Great Hunt but in order to maintain their top position on the leader board, they will have to contend with something big lurking beneath the waves of a mysterious lake in the middle of the battlefield! It’s an episode filled with moral dilemmas, questionable life choices, and the worst lasso job this side of the Quatraian Galaxy, so grab the rope and leave your conscience at the door, this week Adventurific is slipping into the “gray area”!

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Okay, listen. If you’re naughty around Santa Claus, all it usually gets you is a chunk of reliable fuel and a barometer on how far you can push your luck next year. But when the Krampus is involved… your ass is getting beat. Hard. Come along with us on our Christmas finale as the Gang from Moody River steps up to the greatest threat to Holiday Cheer and go toe to toe with the Holiday Devil itself! Will they survive the night and bring the cheer back to their small town or is all they’re getting this year is a one way trip to a popper’s grave?! Check your privilege and prepare to be dazzled, because this week on Adventurific, we are rolling strong and plucking those heart strings!

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It all started as a simple day off of school; grab some sleep, play outside, check out the angry mob at the mall, but things quickly took a turn for the festively obscure when an elf from a magical protection agency arrives and calls upon Moody River’s favorite gang of miscreants to put aside their childish winter games and fight for the future of Christmas itself! The Gang has been recruited to look tough and stand guard during a local skinflint’s personal Christmas Carol, but while everything seems to be going according to old Charlie’s classic tale, things will soon take a turn for the violent and only get more deadly from there! However, even equipped with the greatest tech this side of the North Pole, not everyone involved will walk away from this yuletide adventure with their Holly Jolly Spirit intact! So grab a fresh steaming cup of Hot Choco and take a big ol’ sip way too soon because this week Adventurific is taking the cheap shot and totally not rolling a one!

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Gather up the children and put those stupid 90’s babies to bed because its Christmas time once again and we’ve got no time for anyone too young to remember “Trancers”! Heavy snow has completely blanketed the small town of Moody River, MN and our local group of rambunctious ne’er do wells have the whole day off of school to get up to some small town holiday hijinks. But when a greedy businessman threatens to scrooge up their good time, the Gang must figure out a way to spread some Christmas cheer and save the greatest day of their young lives! However, as you might know, Moody River always has some strange secrets hidden in the shadows and what will soon unfold for these kids will take everything they know about Christmas and turn it on it’s over commercialized head! So grab your piss filled snowball and shake to develop because tis the season and Adventurific is going all White Elephant on this Yuletide bitch!

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While the Forest continues to run red with the blood of the Skittermanders, back at the Mansion things aren’t fairing much better! C.L.A.N.K. and Duke (and C.L.A.N.K.’s arm candy Mike) have already started systematically removing guests from this plane of existence, but when their eagerness for butchery leads to a full blown in-house investigation, it’s up to Duke to step up, hide the true killer’s identity, and conclude their goal of taking home the homicidal gold! It’s going to be one hell of an investigation, especially when there is a much more qualified detective and he’s already sniffing something fishy when it comes to this whole mess! So grab your sunglasses and get your one liners ready because this week, Adventurific tries to get away with murder!

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The fight is heating up over at the hunt and that’s totally NOT a stupid Solarian pun! Join us this week as Slasher, Mucktup, and Kenntucky continue the slaughter with hopes of coming out on top as the greatest hunters out of all these rich assholes! However, things are about to take a strange turn as Platinum Squad make their way to the forest, and come to find that what lies in the trees may be more ruthless than any one of our heroes could have ever imagined! Will they survive the mysterious onslaught in the forest or has their time at the top of the leaderboard come to a bloody end?! Things are about to go critical; so grab your Star Knife and prepare for total domination, this week on Adventurific!

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Think back to a time of being a young arthropod in a strange new Learning Annex and it’s time to be paired up with your fellow knowledge collectors for the annual Re-Culling Ceremony, and by the grace of Ibra, you get paired with your secret crush! It’s a magical moment; a chance to bond, a chance to grow closer, and maybe, if the stars align, you’ll be chosen to house her eggs inside your exoskeleton before they birth violently from your head! This week’s episode of the Adventurific Radio Hour is a lot like that, only with CLANK, the Ice Queen, wrapped into a strange game of Hide and Seek with a fellow bodyguard who is just not getting the message! Meanwhile, Duke continues to attempt to rally the Ysoki servants into a revolution, but being Duke, he seems to be having less luck than CLANK’s bodyguard friend! Will CLANK and Duke manage to put their trivial personal feelings aside and accomplish their respective goals or is this entire mission dead in the water? Remember to lead with the tongue and twist the clasps with your thumb and pointer, because this week on Adventurific, things are getting hot, heavy, and deadly!

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